عقيدة أهل السنة والجماعة

                          LAUGH YOUR HEADS OFF!!

Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke?
Joke. Joke. Joooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkke.

Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"

Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

Death

It was early in the morning at four,
 When death knocked upon a bedroom door,
 Who is there? The sleeping one cried.
 I'm Malkul Mawt, let me inside.
 At once, the man began to shiver,
 As one sweating in deadly fever,

 He shouted to his sleeping wife,
 Don't let him take away my life.
Please go away, O Angel of Death!
Leave me alone; I'm not ready yet.
My family on me depends,
Give me a chance, O please prepense!

The angel knocked again and again,
 Friend! I'll take your life without a pain,
Tis your soul Allah requires,
 I come not with my own desire.
 Bewildered, the man began to cry,
 O Angel I'm so afraid to die,

 A Ramadan came and a Ramadan went,
 But no time had I to repent.
 The Hajj was already FARD on me,
 But I would not part with my money.
 All charities I did ignore,
 Taking usury more and more.

 I will refrain from usury,
 And give all my wealth to charity,
 Wine and wenches I will detest,
 Allah's oneness I will attest.
 We Angels do what Allah demands,
 We cannot go against His commands.

 You lived in this world, two score and more,
 Never did you, your people adore.
 Your parents, you did not obey,
 Hungry beggars, you turned away.
 Your two ill-gotten, female offspring,
 In nightclubs, for livelihood they sing.

 Instead of making more Muslims,
 You made your children non-Muslims.
 You ignored the Mua'dhin Adhaan,
 Nor did you read the Holy Quran.
 Breaking promises all your life,
 Backbiting friends, and causing strife.

 From hoarded goods, great profits you made,
 And your poor workers, you underpaid.
 Horses and cards were your leisure,
 Moneymaking was your pleasure.
 You ate vitamins and grew more fat,
 With the very sick, you never sat.

 A pint of blood you never gave,
 Which could a little baby save?
 O Human, you have done enough wrong,
 You bought good properties for a song.
 When the farmers appealed to you,
 You did not have mercy, tis true.
 Paradise for you? I cannot tell,
 Undoubtedly you will dwell in hell.

 There is no time for you to repent,
 I'll take your soul for which I am sent.
 The ending however, is very sad,
 Eventually the man became mad
 With a cry, he jumped out of bed,
 And suddenly, he fell down dead.

 O Reader! Take moral from here,
 You never know, your end may be near
 Change your living and make amends
 For heaven, on your deeds depends.
 If this poem inspires you,
 It can help someone too.

                               Ever Wonder?

Ever wonder why we study chemistry, economics, biology, accounting, physics, commerce instead of fiqh, thaareekh, thafseer, hadhees, Quran?

Why a Jew can grow his beard in order to practice his faith. But when Muslim does the same, he is an extremist and terrorist?!

Why a nun can be covered from head to toe in order to devote herself to God. But when Muslimah does the same she oppressed?
When a western woman stays at home to look after her house and kids , she is respected because of sacrificing herself and doing well for the household? But when a Muslim woman does so by her will, they say, 'she needs to be liberated'?

Any girl can go to university wearing what she wills and have her rights and freedom. But when Muslimah wears a Hijaab they prevent her from entering her university?

When a child dedicates himself to a subject he has potential. But when he dedicates himself to Islam he is hopeless?
When a Christian or a Jew kills someone religion is not mentioned, but  when Muslim is charged with a crime, it is Islam that goes to trial?

When someone sacrifices himself to keep others alive, he is noble and all respect him. But when a Palestinian does that to save his son from being killed, his brother's arm being broken, his mother being raped, his home being destroyed, and his mosque being violated, he gets the title of a terrorist! Why?

When someone drives a perfect car in a bad way, no one blames the car. But when any Muslim makes or treats people in a bad manner, people blame Islam.

Ever wonder why, while the so called Muslims now in this world wear hijaab (buruga), but their WHOLE FEET is to be seen? When Allah has asked Muslim women to be covered from head to toe, except ONLY THE HANDS AND FACE? Ever wonder why women here are shy to wear short-sleeved dresses with hijaab, but they are not shy to SHOW THEIR FEET?

If a solution lies in Islam, we refuse to look at it. So my friends think about all this and give your honest opinion about this important matter! Don’t forget to comment. 

An Offer to Those Who Hate Death but Love Wealth, Women, and Prestige
Amir Sulaiman

It is from the natural instincts of men to fear death. We also love wealth, women, and prestige. Oceans of blood have been spilled and prosperous nations have been built as a result of these instincts. We should not treat these impulses as evil or detrimental. Surely they are from Allah. This is why Islam dictates we should defend ourselves from attackers, marry women, and be honorable among people. Even though our natural instincts are divinely ordained, Shaton sometimes tempts us to apply them in evil and detrimental ways. Men spend their whole lives in a panic stricken pursuit of the things that can satisfy their instincts and quell his fears. Our Most Gracious Lord has answered their prayers. The one who loves life, wealth, women, and prestige should commit his whole self to the pursuit of martyrdom in the way of Allah. This is the only place where he will find safety from his fear and the satiation of his desires.

For Those That Hate Death

What instinct is more universal than the preservation of one's own life? The Human Family has seen the most powerful men expire, decompose, and disappear. No matter the amount of their wealth or the prowess of their military they all died. Every society develops elaborate systems and means to extend life. In America, there are countless multi-billion dollar industries to fight off the inevitable end of man. Fortunately, Allah has given His special servants a safe haven from death. Allah has said (what has been translated as):

"Think not of those who are killed in the Way of Allah as dead. Nay, they are alive, with their Lord, and they have provision. They rejoice in what Allah has bestowed upon them of His Bounty, rejoicing for the sake of those who have not yet joined them, but are left behind (not yet martyred) that on them no fear shall come, nor shall they grieve." (Qur'an 3:169-70).
And say not of those who are slain in the way of Allah. "They are dead." Nay, they are living, though ye perceive (it) not. (Qur'an 2:154)

Certainly, this is good news for those who hate death and love life. The martyrs are the only people that I can find in Allah's book that Allah commands all to refer to them as alive even though their limbs don't move, their heart doesn't beat, and their lungs don't breath. There is no doubt; the station of everlasting life for the Children of Adam is indeed martyrdom. Therefore, all those who fear death should struggle for martyrdom the way a drowning man struggles for breath.

For Those That Love Wealth

The instinct for the love of wealth and the fear of poverty is so strong that leaders will lie to their followers, women will abort their babies, and men will kill their brothers. Most men spend the majority of their lives working instead of living. They live for money and then spend it to live. If three billion dollars ($3,000,000,000) were presented before a group people, there would be some who would offer all their assets for it. Some would offer to work their entire lives for it. There would even be some who would offer a hand or foot for it. That person would be out bid by someone who would offer an arm or leg. This would only end with the highest bidder and/or a violent riot. Allah says about man:

"And violent is he in his love of wealth. (Qur'an 100:8)

The distant objective of most people is to have a beautiful and secure place to live. They would like gold, silver, and beautiful furniture. They would like the company of servants to make their lives easy and comfortable. People will enslave themselves to governments and corporations for their entire lives for this. Not only is it laborious but what makes it worse is the fact that it will all disappears at the moment of death. Some societies were so disenchanted with this idea that they buried their dead with gold and silver. What does a pile of dusty bones and decaying flesh do with a gold necklace? They can only impress the worms and maggots that are not there for their wealth but to take part of their flesh. Surely, the martyr's wealth is more valuable and ever enduring.

"For them will be Gardens of Eternity; beneath them rivers will flow; they will be adorned therein with bracelets of gold, and they will wear green garments of fine silk and heavy brocade: They will recline therein on raised thrones. How good the recompense! How beautiful a couch to recline on!" (Qur'an 18:31)

There is no better business transaction or financial venture than martyrdom. All those who desire wealth should bid for martyrdom with the tenacity of the traders on the New York Stock Exchange floor.

For Those That Love Women

No one needs to remind us about man's instinct for women. Men have been driven into state of perpetual madness because of their love of women. Infatuation and true love are both states of intoxication that men constantly succumb. Since it is unnecessary to explain the desire for women let us look at what comes with their love and beauty. Let us presume that the object of your affection is the most virtuous and beautiful of all of Adam's daughters. She still urinates, menstruates , and defecates from the part of her that you desire most. She coughs, spits, and vomits from the place where you long to kiss her. If she did not tend to her appearance for only one week, her smell would repulse bystanders and her look would frighten children. After all of this, neither you nor I can do without them. Nevertheless, the most virtuous and beautiful of the women are dust next to the women prepared for the martyrs. Allah has said about them:

"And (there will be) Companions with beautiful, big, and lustrous eyes,- Like unto Pearls well-guarded. A Reward for the deeds of their past (life)." (Qur'an 56:22-24)

To ease the worry of the mother of the martyred Harrithah the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) informed her about what her son was enjoying in the Paradise. When he (pbuh) talked about the wives of the martyrs he said

,

"If one of the women of the Paradise looked at the Earth, she would fill whatever was in between them with a light and pleasant scent and her head cover is better than the world and whatever is in it."

Would it not be better to be with women whose shape is lovely and disposition pleasant? They are neither too shy nor too bold. They exist only for you and are pleased with your pleasure. There is no doubt that, the best thing for the one who loves women is to chase martyrdom like cheetah chase prey.

For Those That Love Prestige

No one wants to be a loser. No one wants to be humiliated in front of his wife and children. Every man wants honor and prestige so he may live a respectable life. Some find prestige in wealth. Who has more wealth than the martyr? Some find prestige in their women. Who has more beautiful women than the martyr? Some find prestige in their associations and influence. For example, if a young man got into some legal trouble, it would give his father a feeling of honor to be able to say to his son, "I know the judge, I'll talk to him and see what I can do." If a man was invited to the White House for dinner, his daughter would boast about it at the lunch table for weeks. One of the most special gifts given to the martyr is the intersession for seventy (70) members of his family on the Day of Judgment. This is a day when a son will come to the one that loves him most, his mother, and ask for only one of her good deeds. His own mother would refuse him one good deed because her preoccupation with her judgment will make her stingy. A father would see his favorite daughter dragged, on her face into the fire, and would not give her even one of his good deeds to save her. He wouldn't even lift a finger to help her. She would cry and scream like never before and he may not even notice. What would you do if you saw your mother crying, sweating and worried standing before Allah for judgment? Unless you are a martyr, you would do absolutely nothing. You would see her thrown head long into the fire and do absolutely nothing. But if you are a martyr you will intercede for her, by the permission of Allah. Even the father who bought his children everything in this present life will be exceedingly envious of the martyr, who used to struggle to buy his wife a one or two garments and his child a new toy. This is because the martyr will be able to go before Allah and give a weighty testimony on behalf of his children. What is more prestigious, Bush inviting you to the White House or Allah inviting you to testify on the Day when all of the Children of Adam will stand for judgment? Who has more honor or prestige than the martyr? It becomes blatantly obvious to all those who believe in Allah, His book, and His Messenger that there is no greater achievement than martyrdom. This is not the promise of me, a layman. This is the promise of neither a scholar nor student. This is an old, enduring promise from Allah:

Allah hath purchased of the believers their persons and their goods; for theirs (in return) is the garden (of Paradise): they fight in His cause, and slay and are slain: a promise binding on Him in truth, through the Law, the Gospel, and the Qur'an: and who is more faithful to his covenant than Allah. Then rejoice in the bargain which ye have concluded: that is the achievement supreme. (Qur'an 9:111)

                               Soccer Fatwas

Sheik Al-Munajid: Soccer, as a sport, is permitted, as long as the Islamic rules are observed. Islamic law has no objection to people kicking balls around and scoring a goal in a designated place, or with the players cooperating with one another during the game in order to reach the goal. This is true as long as religious law isn't violated - for example, if it prevents prayer. Sometimes people remain on the soccer field from before afternoon prayer until after evening prayer, and they miss the prayers.

Interviewer: Yes, this sometimes happens.

Sheik Al-Munajid: Second, revealing one's nakedness - and the thigh is part of one's nakedness… The Prophet made this clear when he said: "Oh Jurhoud, cover your thighs, because they are part of your nakedness." Third, all the gambling that takes place… When a team wins, all the "you pay me and you pay him" begins… The gambling is even organized by international companies. Fourth, the fans' support for teams reaches blows, both within the field and outside it, in schools, and other places, and this is a reason for divorce and various social tragedies. Fifth, intentional rough play… They always bring gurneys and ambulances onto the field…Besides, in soccer there is a lot of cheating and all that…

Interviewer: Also, a lot of money is wasted on it, while there are much worthier causes…

Sheik Munajid: Of course, the waste of money, no doubt. And sometimes there are other things. You see some of them cross themselves when they score a goal, or imitate the infidels with certain dances. I've been told that some players around the world have specific dances and some of the Muslim players imitate these dances and sometimes put forbidden things on their chests.

Participating in sports activities is important. Women want to be shapely and fit, and this is there right. Who cares if they are called Swedish exercises, or Japanese exercises…? So long as a woman performs these exercises in an Islamic legal manner, we don’t care what they are called. After all, she performs them at home. When do the problems begin? When women wear those outfits, which are tight-fitting, short, and so on. They go to public places and general stadiums. Some want women to participate in the Olympics! There is no doubt, and no Muslim would disagree, that women are not allowed to participate in the Olympics in full view, because this means exposing her nakedness.

Saudi Cleric Muhammad Al-Munajid Warns against Watching World Cup: Half-Naked Women Watching an Inflated Piece of Leather Flying between Three Wooden Beams

Following are excerpts from an interview with Saudi cleric Muhammad Al-Munajid, which aired on Al-Majd TV on June 1, 2006.

Muhammad Munajid: We are following in the footsteps of East and West when it comes to recreation. Whatever field they open to us - we enter. If the West has managed to captivate the hearts of most of the human race with an inflated piece of leather flying between three wooden beams, we Muslims must be completely aware of the state of the Islamic nation, and what they have in store for it.

The cameras at the soccer fields will zoom in on many things, including women, who will not be wearing veils, of course, and will be half naked in many cases.

Some of the fans paint their faces with strange colors... Some of them look like demons, with their faces covered in dust, charcoal, and smoke. They use green, red, and yellow coal. They dye their hair, and paint maps... One shaves his head, another leaves a little bit here, and a third paints the map of his country...

The devil has turned these people into fools, and made them change the way God created them, with all the things they are doing, which also cost a lot of money. Some of them even get tattoos of this...

Interviewer: That is unbelievable.

Muhammad Munajid: A woman who works for Conta Optic wore a lens shaped like a soccer ball in her left eye, and a lens with the colors of the German flag in her right eye. I rest my case.

Saudi Cleric Nasser bin Sliman Al-Omar: People Who Watch the World Cup Will Have to Answer on Judgment Day

Following are excerpts from an interview with Saudi cleric Nasser bin Sliman Al-Omar, aired on Al-Majd TV on June 4, 2006:

Nasser bin Sliman Al-Omar: With regard to the World Cup... Let me ask you, Brother Muhammad... May Allah protect your daughter and sons, but imagine that you are about to undergo a surgical operation, and they tell you the doctor is late because he is watching the game. How would you feel?

Interviewer: Undoubtedly, very bad.

Nasser bin Sliman Al-Omar: OK, imagine that while paying a condolence call, one of the people gets up and turns on the TV to watch the game, and he begins to clap his hands?

Interviewer: No doubt, this is bad.

Interviewer: Our brothers are being killed in all corners of the world, yet we sit down to watch the World Cup? You know how our sons used to admire one of the great players. You know how our sons used to admire him. He came as a guest to a certain Saudi city. He was hosted by one of the soccer clubs. They imitated him in everything, including his earring. Someone asked a young man: "Why are you wearing an earring?" He answered: "Because that player wears one." He said to him: "But he wears it on his left ear," so the young man moved it to his left ear. Do you know what became of this player? He became a drug addict, despite being an international player, and he began to visit the so-called Wailing Wall in Israel. This is the man admired by our sons, I'm sad to say. During the last World Cup, while the call for prayer was being aired on TV... the TV that was broadcasting the game announced: "We will now broadcast the call for prayer." The ball was really close to the goal at that moment, and one guy got up and cursed the muazzin. I am saying to the fathers, to the mothers, and to the people who watch these games: On Judgment Day, a page in the book will be opened for you, and it will say that you sat and watched the games. Will this make you happy or miserable? Will this make you happy on Judgment Day, when you face Allah, or will you wish you had never watched these games?